Worship leader Scott Box’s first book, Heroic Disgrace, details his journey through bipolar disorder and how it taught him to live out worship rather than just leading it. Box’s first-hand experience offers hope for anyone whose life has been impacted by mental illness.
Scott had been a successful worship leader for 25 years, externally proclaiming the love of God. Internally, his world was in chaos, consumed by the sick thought patterns of bipolar disorder.
“I was desperate,” Box freely admits. “That desperation could have driven me in one of two directions: it could have driven me to end it all or into friendship with Jesus and hope. It became hope bound up in desperation. That’s what Jesus does.”
Ultimately, that desperate hopefulness drove him to lay down vocational worship leading in order to pursue wholeness. Box’s recovery became a way of living out the resurrection in his own life.
“Jesus’s heroism is not the world’s kind, where people crush others,” Box writes in Heroic Disgrace. “The heroism that Jesus modeled was the opposite. He propped up the weak and the broken. Jesus came to serve not to be served. That type of heroism gave meaning to my pain and helped me make sense of my life.”
“I am proof.”
Accepting that heroic role led Box into wholeness, even through the ongoing realities of living with bipolar disorder.
“The Great Hero, Jesus Christ, makes healthy what He does not heal. I am proof,” Box earnestly shares. “Health is always an option, even when healing is not God’s plan. There is always hope.”