Sick of Selfishness

I entered into 2015 with a heavy heart, and like many other seasons in my life, Skillet’s music was something that helped me cope. Their most recent album “Rise” had released in June of 2013, and their single “Sick of It” was one of my favorite songs. I couldn’t really identify what it was that I was sick of most days, other than a collection of negative emotions that all ran together. But I found myself really looking forward to seeing Skillet on the Winter Jam Tour in Chicago.

Prior to Skillet’s performance, someone took the stage and talked about Holt International, a faith-based humanitarian organization and adoption agency. For $34 a month you could sponsor a child to ensure that they get food, clothing, school support, and more. That message lingered in the back of my mind as the night continued.

When Skillet began playing “Sick of It” my eyes were opened to something I hadn’t realized up until that point. Similar to scenes in their music video, I saw a word so clearly in my mind it was as if it was spray painted in front of me:

Selfishness.

I had gone to Winter Jam because I wanted to feel good. I wanted to enjoy hearing some live music. I wanted to escape routine life. I wanted to feel something good for a change. Everything I wanted for for myself and not for a second did I think about how I could better another life that night.

I was amazed how quickly and strongly I was then convicted of being selfish during that song. I saw how consumed I was with myself and with things that had happened to me. I saw how much time I spent thinking about my feelings and ignoring others’. I was disgusted by it; I was sick of it!

I knew what it meant to take a stand against selfishness– I was being called to sponsor a couple children for the rest of that year. It was such a spontaneous thing, but it felt so good to be able to do.

I walked into Winter Jam only thinking about myself and what I needed that night to hold for me. I walked out holding my sponsorship packets of two Chinese children, genuinely happy that I could make a positive impact in their lives.

The song “Sick of It” has continued to challenge me and remind me that even when things feel completely overwhelming, we are not powerless to make a change.

This post contributed by Jessica Walker.

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